Ngalowo mzuzu uthukuthela ingane yakho ethukuthele noma uzama ukuyiphoqa ukuthi ikulalele, izogcina isinganaki (ingakhathaleli lutho).

Ingane idlula emizweni eminingi, njengokuthokozela, ukuthukuthela, ukwesaba, ukukhala, ukudabuka, njll, ngokushesha okukhulu. Uzozizwa ejabule bese kuthi, ngokuzuma, angacasulwa okuthile.

Kepha kuwe ukuthi uthukuthelele ingane yakho akulungile. Uyingane encane futhi, kuye, wena ufana nesiqhwaga. Ubukeka kuye kungathi ungamamitha angamashumi amabili nesishiyagalombili ukuphakama futhi unesisindo samathani!

Masithi umfana omncane uthi kuwe, ethukuthele, “Angithandi ukuthi ungitshele ukuthi ngenzeni!” Futhi ekuphenduleni, wena, lesi silo esikhulu kuye, sifinyelela phezulu sithi, “Awukwazi ukukhuluma nami kanjalo!” Futhi-ke mhlawumbe ungasabisa ngokumshaya. Kepha uma wake wakwenza lokho, ingane yakho ibingazizwa sengathi ayinathuba ngakuwe nokuthi isenkingeni enkulu.

Uma ungaphathi kahle ingane yakho, ungamcindezela phansi umthukuthelise, uma umthukuthelisa, uyomane uyicindezele phansi aze angabi nandaba.

Kungani ingane ithukuthela? Isibonelo, mhlawumbe ingane yakho ifuna okuthile—izama ukwenza noma ukuthola okuthile. Ngesizathu esithile noma kwesinye, akakwazi ukukuthola, ngakho uzama kanzima. Akakutholi futhi ngenxa yalokho uyathukuthela. Futhi-ke, ngemuva kokuzama futhi ngenkathi ethukuthele futhi angakwazi ukukuthola, uya ngokunganaki.

Nasi isibonelo esivamile salokho okuvame ukwenzeka:

Ingane ithi, “Mama, ngifuna ukuyobhukuda.”

Umama uphendula, “Angeke uyobhukuda.”

Ingane ithi, “Kungcono ungidedele ngiyobhukuda. UJimmy Jones uyobhukuda.”

Umama uthukuthela aqale ukumemeza ingane, “Cha, ngeke ukwazi ukuyobhukuda!”

Futhi, ngokuzumayo, ingane ithukuthele futhi icasuke kakhulu.

Ube esethi, “Kepha bengingafuni ukuyobhukuda.” Into elandelayo uyazi, into ehlekisayo ingenzeka. Ingane ingaqala ukukutshela, “Angithandi ukubhukuda.” Lokhu i-nagation (ukwenqaba noma ukunqaba okuthile noma othile), okungenzeka ebuntwaneni. Ingane icabanga ukuthi, “Anginayo, ngakho-ke angikhohlwe ngayo. Angiyifuni!” Lokhu kungaqala ukwenzeka njengento esijwayelekile.

Isibonelo, ingane izama ukuthola noma ukwenza okuthile, kepha ayikwazi. Uyathukuthela. Ube esethi empeleni ubengayifuni kwasekuqaleni. Lapho ingane iwela kule phethini ye-negation, izoba nomcabango wokuthi ifuna okuthile bese yeqa intukuthelo ngokuzenzakalela abe nongokunganaki. Unomcabango, “Ngingathanda ukuyobhukuda. Angikwazi ukuyobhukuda.” Lokhu kuba ngokushesha, “Ngingathanda ukuyobhukuda. Angithandi ukubhukuda.” Futhi ekugcineni, njengoba ewela egunjini le-negation, uthi, “Mfana, usuku olushisayo. Ngingathanda impela—angithandi ukuyobhukuda.”

Indlela aqala ngayo ukunganaki inokwenzeka ngokushesha okukhulu. Wenza lokhu ngaphandle kokucabanga. Uzama ukuchaza ukuthi kungani engakuthandi ukubhukuda. Uthi kuwe, “Ngiyakuzonda ukubhukuda ngokwami. Angikaze ngihambe ngiyobhukuda.” Ube esethi, “Kwakukhona umfana omncane esikoleni sethu owacishe waminza.” Kepha ekuqaleni, wayethanda ukubhukuda futhi wayefuna ukukwenza. Ubesamisiwe nje watshelwa ukuthi ngeke akwazi, ngakho-ke wabe eseya kokunganaki futhi wakuziba.

Ngakho-ke khumbula, uma uthukuthelela ingane yakho lapho ithukuthela, ungalindela ukumbona ehamba isikhathi eside se-negation.

Kufanele wazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ukuvimba lokhu.

Ukusebenzelana Nomntwana Othukuthele

Wake wazama ukufundisa ingane yakho lapho ikuthukuthelele?

Ngeke kusebenze.

Impendulo evamile evela kubazali ukuthi bazithukuthelele izingane ngokwabo. Kuphela lokho akusebenzi nakho.

Ukuze ufundise ngempumelelo ingane yakho, noma yona inentukuthelo, empeleni kukhona into elula kakhulu ongayenza. Ake sithi ingane ithukuthele isikhashana. Uma nje umane uzothola ingane ukuthi ikuthinte izandla zakho, esinye emva kwesinye, futhi mhlawumbe yenza ukuba ithinte ithiphu lekhala lakho, uzothola ukuthi ukucasuka enakho ukuthi kuzonyamalala milingo futhi ngeke usakhuluma nengane ethukuthele.

Uyithola kanjani ingane ethukuthele ukuthi ithinte izandla nekhala lakho? Kungadingeka ukuthi umncenge kancane, kepha ungamthukutheleli. Sebenza nje kukho. Kungekudala uzodlala ayeke ukuthukuthela. Ngemuva kwalokho uzokwazi ukumfundisa okuthile!

Umthetho wegolide wokuthi ungalokothi uthukuthele ingane ethukuthele.