Nanini na xa abantu bedibana ukuze basebenze njengeqela, benza izivumelwano, nokuba zichazwe okanye azichazwanga, malunga nokuba yintoni elungileyo nengalunganga—ngamanye amagama, oko kuya kunceda ukusinda kweqela kunye nento eya kuba yintshabalalo ekusindeni kwayo.

Oku kubizwa ngokuba yikhowudi isimilo—iseti yezivumelwano umntu ngamnye athe wagqiba ukulilandela ukuqinisekisa ukuba iqela liyasinda.

Ubungakanani beqela abubalulekanga—nokuba babini abantu abakha umtshato okanye ilizwe lonke ukuba lenziwe—amalungu eqela angena kwizivumelwano ezithile. Ukwaphula esinye sezi zivumelwano kwaziwa njengokreqo.

Xa elinye iqabane kubudlelwane okanye umtshato laphula ikhowudi isimilo ekuvunyelwene ngayo, uhlala evakalelwa kukuba akanakuxelela omnye umntu ngayo. Kodwa ezi zikreqo zinokwakha kancinci kwaye zibangele ukwaphuka kobudlelwane.

Kwi Scientology, igama elisetyenziselwa intwe-yenza ingozi okanye ukreqo ngokuchasene nekhowudi isimilo kweqela yi overt act okanye, ngokulula, yi overt.

I overt ingaba yinto oyenzileyo obungafanelekanga ukuba uyenzile okanye into ongakhange uyenze ebefanele ukuba uyenzile, ngokwekhowudi isimilo.

Enye indlela yokuyijonga ukuba i overt yinto oyenzileyo komnye obungayi kufuna ukuba yenziwe kuwe.

Umzekelo, thatha umyeni owenza isivumelwano nomfazi wakhe ukuba uya kudibana naye kwivenkile yokutyela ngobo busuku besikhumbuzo somtshato wabo. Emva kwaloo mini, umhlobo wakhe umcela ukuba aye kumboniso bhanyabhanya kwaye ugqiba kwelokuba aye apho. Akabonakali ukuza kudibana nomfazi wakhe, okanye amtsalele umnxeba ukuba amazise, ​​kwaye unkosikazi ugqibela esitya yedwa. Leyo iyakuba yi overt act.

Xa umntu esenza (esenza) i overt ngokuchasene nomnye umntu, uhlala evakalelwa kukuba akanakuxelela loo mntu ngakoyikayo noko kunokwenzeka. Ke, indoda igcina kuyo—indoda withholds.

I withhold yi overt act umntu ayenzileyo angathiyo ngayo.

Nayiphi na i withhold iza emva kwesenzo se overt.

Overts kunye nee withholds zahlula umntu ekunxibelelaneni ngokukhululekileyo nentsalela yeqela lakhe okanye usapho.

Umzekelo, ukuba indoda iya ekhasino kwaye ilahlekelwe yimali yonke ebibekelwe bucala kwaye kufuneka ihlawule amatyala kusapho, yenze i overt act. Ukuba ke uyayifihla le nyaniso kwaye angaze ayikhankanye kumfazi wakhe okanye kusapho, waphule isivumelwano iqela elisekwe kulo. Le ntlobo yesenzo yenza ukwahlukana (ukwahlulahlula amalungu) kusapho.

Umtshato owaphuke kakhulu ukuya kuthi ga kwiqondo apho amaqabane ahlukane omnye komnye ngenxa ye overts kunye nee withholds phantse akunakwenzeka ukuwubuyisela nje ngokulula postulating ubekhona. Emva kokuba abantu bohlukene omnye komnye, kuya kufuneka bangazohlukanisi ngokwabo. Kuya kufuneka, ngandlela thile, babuyele kunxibelelwano kwaye babuyele ekudaleni umtshato wabo. Kodwa bakwenza njani oko?

Abanye abantu banokucinga ukuba umtshato unjengento abayifundileyo kwincwadana yamabali okanye bakubona kumdlalo bhanyabhanya. Banokucinga ukuba ngemini entle yehlobo, baya kudibana nale ndoda intle okanye le ntombazana intle. Emva koko badibane bathi, “Ndiyakwenza side sohlulwe kukufa.” Kwaye bacinga ukuba bawenzile umtshato ngokuthetha nje oko. Kodwa ngokwenene, abakaqali okwangoku.

Ungacinga ukuba umtshato unento yokwenza nobudlelwane. Akunjalo. Unento yokwenza kakhulu nezinto ezinjengo kuzilungisa kunye nee-reyiza bleyidi kunye neempahla kunye nemoto kunye nendlu ekufuneka babelane ngayo. Kuya kufuneka bafunde ukuphila kunye—ukuba banako.

Ukufika kwinqanaba elithile, bosule phandle okanye bayishenxisile—ba yenza ngokutshata—lonto bebekade beyenza ngaphambili. Benza esi sivumelwano kwaye kufuneka baqale apho. Yinto eyenzekayo ukusuka apho ukuya phambili.

Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha izinto abazenzileyo ngaphambili, abazenza ngogonyamelo (ngamandla amakhulu) withholdings omnye komnye, zivalela umtshato ukuba uqalise kwaye emva kweeyure ezingamashumi amane anesibhozo lomtshato wabo ulungiselela intshabalalo okanye intlekele. Oku kungenxa yokuba zininzi kakhulu ii overt kunye nee withholds zangaphambi kokuba bazane.

Kodwa nokuba umtshato ungasindiswa.

Kumtshato osele uqhubeke iminyaka embalwa, ii overt acts kunye nee withholds zingakheka de amaqabane “ahlukane.” Abanye banokucinga yinto yesiko (indlela izinto ebezisenzeka ngayo ixesha elide) ukuba ekupheleni kweminyaka emithathu, abayeni namakhosikazi abasafumani lonwabo ekutheni babe kunye. Bacinga njengesiqhelo. Kodwa kubonakala ngathi abazi kakuhle ukuba kutheni oko kusenzeka.

Yenzeka ngenxa yee overt acts kunye nee withholds amaqabane atshatileyo athi omnye abenazo komnye.

Ukuba kunjalo ekupheleni kweminyaka emithathu, ucinga ukuba kuya kuba kubi kangakanani ekupheleni kweshumi? Ngelo xesha, izibini ezininzi sele zifundile ukunyamezelana okanye zombini zibak’uxolelo—imeko yokuzama ukugcina omnye nomnye ezolile okanye ukunciphisa umsindo womnye nomnye. Ngandlela ithile bayavana kwaye bangathanda ukuba babe ngaloo ndlela kunokuba babengenye indlela. Bangathanda ukuhlala betshatile kunokuba bangatshati. Bacinga ukuba benzakonke kakuhle. Kwaye abasacingi kakhulu malunga nala ntombazana okanye la ndoda bekade ecinga ukuba befanele utshate yona. Umtshato wabo wona uyaqhubeka ngeny’indlela.

Kobobudlelwane obo, i Scientology inokwenza utshintsho olothusayo kunye notshintsho olumangalisayo: singawucoca umtshato!

Uqhawulo-mtshato kunye nokwahlukana kuza ngenxa yokuba zininzi kakhulu ii overt kunye nee withholds phakathi kwamaqabane omtshato. Ilula njengaleyo.

Xa iqabane lakho lomtshato liziva linoxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo kwaye lifuna ukuhamba lisithi, “Kufanele ndihambe” okanye “andifanelanga ukuhlala” okanye “Ndifanele ndenze enye into” okanye “Kufanele sahlukane” okanye “Ngekungcono kakhulu ukuba besingakhange,” zonke ezo zimvo zivela kwangoko kwii overt acts kunye nee withholds kwiqabane elinazo ezo ngcinga.

Ngokwenyani, esona sizathu sokuba umntu enze le nto kukuba uzama ukukhusela iqabane lakhe ebubini (kwinkohlakalo okanye isenzo esiyingozi). Ke uthi ngaphakathi kwakhe, “Kulungile, kungcono sihambe” okanye “Kungcono sohlukane” okanye “Kungcono sizipholise (sohlukane okwexeshana).” Kwaye oko kudla ngokuba yindlela ethechu yokuqhawula umtshato. Kodwa singazithatha ezi zinto kwaye “sizikhulule” kuzo.

Ukuba ukhe wazama ukunceda ukucoca umtshato phakathi kwesibini, uyakufumanisa ukuba banokuthatha isigqibo sokuba iphelile kwaye akukho sizathu sokuba uqhubeke nayo kuba omnye engakwazi… Into esindisa usuku ngalunye kwixesha ngalinye kukuba umntu ngamnye akhumbule izinto indoda ngokwayo okanye umfazi ngokwakhe akhe wazenza. Ukuba izibini ezitshatileyo zigcina nje loo ngcinga iqinile engqondweni kwaye zikwazi ukuxela zonke ii overt zaso kunye nee withholds omnye komnye, nawuphi na umtshato unokusindiswa.